im not particularly familiar w bowen family systems theory (which this book evangelizes to an embarrassing degree), but if this is an example of its most sophisticated presentation then i have no interest in it

the author ignores the rich tradition of attachment theory and object-relations theory in their reasoning abt relationships; ofc according the author, bowen systems theory attempts to set a new course and leave behind old theories, but perhaps it should not. bc the resulting way of reasoning abt relationships seems to go against many more/less famous case examples from anthropology and psychoanalysis

and at least attachment & object-relations theory, and iirc also internal family systems theory, all have more consistent, nuanced views of both the self and the family; the author here however takes a reductive view of the self thats an awkward mix of egoism and new agey human-potential, and takes the western nuclear family as a default model for relationships. these models r so constrained and reductive that it severely constrains the depth and breadth of this way of working w relationships ( )

This is not light reading. Gilbert looks at relationships within the context of Bowen family systems theory. It is an academic work that helps to understand relational behavior in terms of family of origin systems. In other words, it explores how one's behavior is a result of the family system within which they were raised. Within my own setting (parish ministry), systems theory helps us to understand how and why various members of a congregation behave in certain ways. Bowen, and now Gilbert, maintain that it is as much a function of their family of origin as it is of the system in which they now function. A popular pyschotherapy tool, family systems seeks to help us understand our current family, our work family, our church family, and other groups as we function together, but adds the dimension of our family of origin as well. Bowen and Gilbert hypothesize that habits set in the family system we grew up in determine, often, the way we react within our current systems. A very good look at systems theory for those who appreciate systems theory. Very readable if approached from an academic perspective. ( )

Profound. Very helpful. ( )