I loved 'Choose Your Own Adventure' books when I was a kid. Long after I lost interest in the main 'Goosebumps' series, I still regularly bought and read the 'Give Yourself Goosebumps' line, the interactivity and general batshit insanity of the latter making them distinctly more enjoyable. So when, at the age of 11, I discovered that my current obsession - 'Animorphs' - was going to have its own 'Choose Your Own Adventure' book, I was incredibly excited. Fifteen years later, I can still vividly remember my rapid disappointment as I made my way through this book during the ride home from the bookstore.

I didn't expect a well written book. I didn't expect good characterization or plotting or even internal consistency. 'Choose Your Own Adventure' books rarely worried about such things. What I did expect was a vaguely interactive experience, one where I made a choice, flipped to the page that choice instructed me to, read about the consequences of said choice, made another choice and flipped to the page for *that* choice, and so on, until I either completed the adventure or - as was generally far more likely - died a bizarre and horrible death.

Whoever ghostwrote 'Alternamorphs #1 - The First Journey' either had little to no understanding of how 'Choose Your Own Adventure' books are supposed to work or was on such a tight deadline that they couldn't be arsed doing more than the minimal amount of work required, or both.

Because there is no real interactivity in this book, nothing beyond the *illusion* of choices. You begin with a simplistic retelling of the first few Animorphs books, now written in the second person instead of first, and are soon presented with a "choice", most commonly deciding which animal you wish to acquire and/or morph (it's been roughly fifteen years since I read this book, so bear with me here). One of these choices is correct. The rest will lead to a grisly death and/or infestation by a Yeerk. If you choose correctly, you get to keep reading and will soon reach the next "choice". If you choose incorrectly (and all but one choice will be the incorrect one), you get to read a few pages, experience your death or fate worse than death, then are told words to the effect of "Sorry, you chose wrong. To try again, turn to Page X." Page X being where you made that last, incorrect choice.

The result is a book with basically zero interactivity or re-readability. With most 'Choose Your Own Adventure', you could spend what seemed forever going through all the different bizarre subplots and alternate endings, and it could take dozens of re-reads before you had actually read all that the book had to offer. 'Alternamorphs #1 - The First Journey' only had one linear storyline, and any diversions you take from the main plot results in death several pages later, and returning back to the point where you diverted from the storyline. Instead of an interactive game-book, the result is little more than a subpar, extremely derivative 'Animorphs' book with the 'I's replaced by 'You's.

'Alternamorphs #1 - The First Journey' commits the most grievous sin that a 'Choose Your Own Adventure' book possibly could: it is truly boring and not remotely fun.

A year later, there was a sequel. I don't know whether it improved on this sorry effort or not. I never bothered finding out. ( )

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