review of
Ron Goulart’s Plunder
by tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE - March 20, 2016E.V.

This is the 37th Goulart SF bk I’ve read. I’ve read 1 of his mysteries & I have his bk on the pulps laying around. W/ the possible exception of the pulps bk they’re all extremely easy reading. That’s ok w/ me. I find myself writing ‘entirely too many’ reviews where I feel like I have to be very serious. Goulart’s work is a welcome relief from that. Plunder & Death Cell were both Beagle Books. They both feature Jack Summer, the “top reporter for Muckrake” & “Palma, the horniest photographer in the known universe”. (back cover blurb)

As usual, Plunder was as funny as a Mussolini puppet balancing mating penguins on its nose while reciting the Gettysburg Address w/ a mouthful of pistachio ice-cream. Goulart’s ‘futuristic’ touches are always special. Take, e.g., an office that gets redo crated w/ indoor snow:

“”We redecorated and relocated while you were out on Murdstone.”

“”I see.” It was snowing all around. There was an inch of white on the reception room floor and the breath the pretty plump receptionist expelled when she smiled at Summer came out smoky.” - p 4

Of course, when Summer is getting his assignment it’s presented as not-too-challenging but we know better, eh?!:

“”For one thing, there’s a maniacal mass murderer roaming Noventa. As I say, though, that probably doesn’t tie in with the political situation at all.” said Flowers. “Also we’ve heard rumors a bootleg zombie factory may be operating out there. I suggest you journey to Noventa Territory with an open mind.”” - p 9

“Ivy breathed out smoke. “Are you and these cronies of yours prepared to deny in public, Mr. President, that you are not sanctioning the manufacture of illegal zombies in this territory?”

“President Geecher lowered his head for a second, stroking his snout again. “Let me see if I can give you an answer which will satisfy you, Mr. Ivy. Of course I do not sanction the manufacture of any sort of zombies. The making of this type of worker, besides causing unfair competition in some of our labor markets, is something which is completely abhorrent to me.”” - p 19

Now this bk was 1st printed in February, 1972. As w/ so much SF, it’s prophetic. Who we’ve thought, 44 yrs ago, that such a problem might be addressed by a president. &, yet, here we are (or were) in 2016 & Vermin Supreme is running for president openly proposing a zombie labor force (instead of covertly working toward it like the other candidates): https://youtu.be/8x0uL9ufxnQ .

Most of Goulart’s humor is jest plain wacky (Have I already proposed that he belongs in the Pantheon of Absurdists w/ Alfred Jarry, Eugene Ionescu, & Edward Albee?) but sometimes he borders on incisive realism (as do his fellow absurdists):

“”Oh, I know,” she said, “You’re wondering where the young and pretty girls are. Usually they’re the ones who meet the tourists and go through all this rigamarole with the flowers. The thing is, there’s a war on.”

“”I’ve heard.”

“”So the young and pretty girls are following the troops, running guns, turning tricks or handing out crullers in the hospitals,” explained the old woman. “I’d take off myself except I have my dog to look after.”” - pp 50-51

Hallucinations are even more fun than dreams when used as a writer’s excuse for flights of fancy:

“”Wait, wait,” he said to himself. “I’m not supposed to have hair. My borrowed wild stallion isn’t supposed to talk. This make of camera is supposed to be hairless. Right?” He parted the red ringlets growing out of his vest pocket and took out his map. The map had a two-inch crop of grey fur growing on its surface. Palma tracked his finger tip through the fur. “I’m only on the edges of Loco Plain. The hallucinations shouldn’t be so strong.”” - pp 99-100

As the ghost of “Blaster” Al Ackerman ( http://idioideo.pleintekst.nl/Blaster.html ) might observe, Goulart’s characters are hebephrenic:

“Something cold and sticky splashed down on Summer.

“”What was that you threw on him?” Mrs. Mother asked.

“The black Firefly said, “Old stale lemonade.” He emptied the last of the bucket’s contents on the groggy Summer, set the bucket down on the floor.

“”I said water, didn’t I?”

“”The local government has asked us all to conserve on water during the hot season.”” - p 116

Firefly isn’t bothered by the impending interrogation & murder of 2 kidnap victims but he IS worried about conserving water.

Schroedinger’s Spoiler: Goulart cd be sd to even wax de Sadean by having the slasher be a prominent public figure - just like the 4 Sadists who choreograph the horror in The 120 Days of Sodom.

&, as usual, Goulart’s labor-saving devices of the future are more dysfunctional than is ideal:

“”Look, it’s nearly eleven PM,” said the band leader. “We wasted most of the night waiting for Alguma not to show. Now let’s get it over with. I don’t trust my androids to play without me all night, you know. Especially with the piano player losing his left hand at our first set tonight.”

“”He can play one-handed for a night.”

“”We got a bunch of cattle rustlers from Chapa Valley due in later and they’re sure to request boogie-woogie tunes. You got to have a left-hand for that.” - p 127

True dat. ( )

Well I needed something light to cleanse my mind of that disturbingly lousy book I just read and this did the trick. A funny, short satirical novel about a muckraking journalist sent to a frontier planet to expose a corrupt government and possibly pick up some loot in the process. One of the things I learned from this story is that you can know whether to trust a woman by the size of her yonkers. Or was it zonkers... ( )