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The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity

Tekijä: Esther Perel

JäseniäKirja-arvostelujaSuosituimmuussijaKeskimääräinen arvioMaininnat
274893,238 (4.21)3
Family & Relationships. Psychology. Nonfiction. HTML:

Iconic couples' therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity Esther Perel returns with a provocative look at relationships through the lens of infidelity.

An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honored taboo??universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat??even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book.

For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage??with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart.

Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships??what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations.

Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, "Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human… (lisätietoja)

Viimeisimmät tallentajatCalvinJames, BerrinSerdar, yksityinen kirjasto, soulstrong, ahdavis, Nahiyan., Cbcdave, megansteller, debfowler
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Näyttää 1-5 (yhteensä 8) (seuraava | näytä kaikki)
Extra-marital affairs. Taboo and yet common. Instead of dismissing the unexceptable, Perel examines it. Her premise is "that while many people have positive, life-changing experiences as a result of terminal illness, I would no more recommend having an affair than I would recommend getting cancer. What many people want to know, then, is what they can learn from affairs without necessarily having to go through one."

My daughter, a huge fan of Perel's podcast Where Shall We Begin, recommended the title and loaned me her copy. Of course, I read with care. And it was worth it. Wise, insightful, open, Perel shares wisdom from her work as a therapist woven together with the knowledge and research of others in the field.

I wasn't sure what to expect. I found empathy, new ideas, and engaging writing, ( )
  rebwaring | Aug 14, 2023 |
I really like Esther's work, she really does seem to ask the questions that lead you to do the deep soul searching and self anaylsis that more people should do. ( )
  MiserableFlower | Jul 10, 2023 |
I enjoyed how Esther Perel writes about this charged topic, doing it in such a way that keept me engaged throughout the book. She really helps one think about marriage, but gives us the opportunity to question the traditional ideas with maturity and insight. ( )
  Alfador | Jan 7, 2023 |
Loved it wholeheartedly. Takes a balanced view without bashing or shaming. We all be thus informed.
  RonSchulz | Jun 24, 2022 |
This is an excellent source for practitioners wanting to understand the various processes in and around affairs. Esther Perel has made infidelity a focus of both her clinical work and her professional reading and reflection. As a result she is able to provide thoughtful commentary illustrated by case examples, and referring to the perspectives of other writers. I particularly liked these arguments:
- that the adulterer needs to be met with understanding by the practitioner, rather than judgement;
- that infidelity is viewed differently in different cultures;
- that the lover – the ‘third’ party – needs to be let down gently and respectfully when the adulterer chooses to end the relationship.
John Maddick, Counsellor, Kew
  ravlibrary | Mar 26, 2019 |
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Family & Relationships. Psychology. Nonfiction. HTML:

Iconic couples' therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity Esther Perel returns with a provocative look at relationships through the lens of infidelity.

An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honored taboo??universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat??even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book.

For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage??with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart.

Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships??what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations.

Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, "Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human

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