Friendship is what Marcello and Jerry share in the beginning, but both of them want more – totally secretly at first. Marcello knows he is gay, has been out for years, and pretty much the only people who refuse to believe him are his parents – but Marcello has been burned badly, by a bisexual man, and has no intention of risking a similar situation. Jerry, on the other hand, thinks he is straight, has told himself he is straight, but he has had a lot of highly erotic dreams about Marcello – which he is doing his darndest to ignore. Both men have a lot to learn about themselves, each other, and their families. The result is a character-driven story with many ups and downs, a lot of fear, and a tremendous amount of change and growth, as painful as it can get when you let doubt and angst rule your life.

Marcello loves working out at the gym with a group of friends, but he has had his eye on Jerry in particular for a while. Not that Marcello will let anything come of it – Jerry is straight, Marcello has gone through major heartbreak before, and he’d rather be Jerry’s friend than put his heart out there to get stomped on again.

Jerry has been interested in men, even if he won’t admit it for fear of being gay – something his homophobic, aggressive, domineering father would never accept. But Jerry’s interest in Marcello is becoming more explicit and doesn’t seem to want to go away. The questions Jerry has to answer are not easy ones: how intense is his attraction to Marcello and does that make him bi, and how bad can his already strained relationship with his father get if he gives in to his need to explore what he feels for Marcello.

Jerry and Marcello have a tough time figuring out what they want, how much negativity from their families they can take, and how important they are to each other. While Marcello doesn’t struggle with his sexuality, he does need to decide if he can risk putting himself out there again. Jerry has a tough time coming to terms with the fact that he is bi and attracted to a man who is also his friend. He goes back and forth a few times, and the slightest hint of disapproval makes him reconsider – initially. But as time goes on, external factors become less important, and Jerry begins to realize that he is the one in charge of his happiness – and that seems to lie with Marcello.

If you like stories with characters who face life-changing decisions, if you want to learn more about a man who realizes his sexuality is not what he has been told, nor what he has told himself it is, and if you’re looking for a read that is emotionally intense and reveals the struggle some go through when coming to terms with their sexuality, you will probably like this book as much as I do. Jerry and Marcello’s story offers a fascinating look at two men who learn about more than love as they develop and grow together. I found it painful to watch in some places, yet very uplifting in the end.


NOTE: This book was provided by Dreamspinner Press for the purpose of a review on Rainbow Book Reviews. ( )