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Finally Out: Letting Go of Living Straight, A Psychiatrist's Own Story

Tekijä: Loren A. Olsen

Muut tekijät: Jack Drescher (Esipuhe)

JäseniäKirja-arvostelujaSuosituimmuussijaKeskimääräinen arvioMaininnat
5824448,615 (3.26)3
Biography & Autobiography. LGBTQIA+ (Nonfiction.) Sociology. Nonfiction. HTML:Dr. Loren A. Olson has frequently been asked two questions: How could you not know that you were gay until the age of forty? Wasn't your marriage just a sham to protect yourself at your wife's expense? In Finally Out, Dr. Olson answers these questions by telling the inspiring story of his evolving sexuality, into which he intelligently weaves psychological concepts and gay history. This book is a powerful exploration of human sexuality, particularly the sexuality of mature men who, like Dr. Olson, lived a large part of their lives as straight menâ??sometimes long after becoming aware of their same-sex attractions.
Readers will come to understand:
- That there is no universal model for coming out
- Why many older LGBTQ men came out late, do not come out at all, or come out to varying degrees in different environments
- How stigma has created mental health problems for isolated and closeted men who have sex with men, particularly in geographical areas and cultures where there is little or no acceptance of homosexuality
- How sexual function changes but perhaps even improves for older men
- That aging creates opportunities that one has never had and may never have again, e.g., freedom from the tyranny of ambition
- That some people consistently prefer an older sexual partner and this can lead to stable, intergenerational relationships
- How same-sex sexual activity was considered prior to the Stonewall uprising in 1969 contrasted with the way it is perceived after Stonewall
- How age, culture, geographical location, heterosexual marriage, and children impact a person's decision to come out
- Why "conversion therapy" does not work and may be harmful
- The difference between homophobia and homonaïveté
- The archetypes of self-identified straight men who seek occasional or regular sex with other men
- How to overcome the shame and guilt experienced by men who are sexually attracted to other m
… (lisätietoja)
  1. 00
    Stranger at the Gate: To Be Gay and Christian in America (tekijä: Mel White) (wademlee)
    wademlee: Those expecting a more biographical treatment of coming out later after being in a straight marriage may enjoy Stranger at the Gate, though it is definitely more focused on its author's religious background (as indicated in the title).
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Näyttää 1-5 (yhteensä 25) (seuraava | näytä kaikki)
Tämä arvostelu kirjoitettiin LibraryThingin Varhaisia arvostelijoita varten.
Having known many gay and lesbian men and women who cam out later in life, I found this book very enlightening. In this way, it is a very comprehensive view of the myriad issues that all gay people must go through on their journey to acceptance, while also being very specific to a generation that had to grope in the dark and find a path without role models.

Of particular note was that Dr. Olson again and again points out the recurring nature of doubt, confusion and depression that faces gay people. Some people get stuck in one part of this journey or another; others end up using various coping mechanisms that hinder their ability to grow. Because many of these are so clearly outlined in this book, I find it a useful guide to the family and friends of those coming out as much as for adults coming to terms with their own sexuality. I have especially recommended this work to family and friends who are from a more conservative background or from an older generation.

And yet, oddly, I think the audience that can be most helped by this book is younger gay and lesbian people who can have some understanding and sympathy at previous generations and the added struggles they have had in this regard. ( )
  briantomlin | Feb 19, 2014 |
Tämä arvostelu kirjoitettiin LibraryThingin Varhaisia arvostelijoita varten.
I just couldn't get into it, I tried, I really did. I'm normally interested in this kind of subject matter. ( )
  TerriV | Feb 5, 2013 |
Tämä arvostelu kirjoitettiin LibraryThingin Varhaisia arvostelijoita varten.
I wasn't expecting to connect too much to this subject matter, seeing as i am a younger woman, but I am always for a coming out story. This was so much more than that. Word to word it seemed like a lot to take in, but when you step back you can see the the bigger picture. You can see him answers some huge questions of life with honesty. Its not always easy. I walked away from reading this book with a sense of pride and feeling good about being strong enough and loving yourself enough to BE yourself. About being true to yourself and those you love..

The professional aspect with numbers figures and studies sometimes slowed the pace of reading. But it definitely gave a unique insight. Most of it was things I had never even thought about. The personal aspects were touching. His internal struggles, and pain were heartbreaking.

All in all I really enjoyed the read. It absolutely opened my eyes to new route of thinking and other obstacles that I had never seen or thought of before. ( )
  rvenfrost | Jul 10, 2012 |
Tämä arvostelu kirjoitettiin LibraryThingin Varhaisia arvostelijoita varten.
To be honest, I didn't enjoy this book as much as I'd hoped. As a member of the glbt community and someone with a lay interest in psychology, I had high hopes. It was disappointed by the disjointed nature of the book and gave up about half-way through. I tried hard to get into it, but the combination of different approaches didn't work for me. I wish he had focused either on the psychology or on the stories - - or at least done either for a longer period of time so that you could get more into the narrative.
  remonkey | Dec 31, 2011 |
Tämä arvostelu kirjoitettiin LibraryThingin Varhaisia arvostelijoita varten.
Perhaps this is just what it purports to be--'A Psychiatrist's Own story.' Rather than a clear and beautiful narrative about how Mr. Olson's life had been affected by his repressed homosexuality , this book is muddled by the professional gaze of a psychiatrist . Unfortunately, the quality of the writing in the book is not strong enough to produce a story that integrates the professional and the personal gaze.

We are left with a disjointed volume filled with hard facts and unnecessary insets; personal stories of pain and lessons in basic moral philosophy. It doesn't really work.
  dheintz | Aug 11, 2011 |
Näyttää 1-5 (yhteensä 25) (seuraava | näytä kaikki)
ei arvosteluja | lisää arvostelu

» Lisää muita tekijöitä (1 mahdollinen)

Tekijän nimiRooliTekijän tyyppiKoskeeko teosta?Tila
Loren A. Olsenensisijainen tekijäkaikki painoksetlaskettu
Drescher, JackEsipuhemuu tekijäkaikki painoksetvahvistettu
Sinun täytyy kirjautua sisään voidaksesi muokata Yhteistä tietoa
Katso lisäohjeita Common Knowledge -sivuilta (englanniksi).
Teoksen kanoninen nimi
Alkuteoksen nimi
Teoksen muut nimet
Alkuperäinen julkaisuvuosi
Henkilöt/hahmot
Tärkeät paikat
Tärkeät tapahtumat
Kirjaan liittyvät elokuvat
Epigrafi (motto tai mietelause kirjan alussa)
Omistuskirjoitus
Tiedot englanninkielisestä Yhteisestä tiedosta. Muokkaa kotoistaaksesi se omalle kielellesi.
This book is dedicated to the men and women who remain tormented by their same-sex attractions, and to those who have lost their lives - or stand at risk of doing so - just because they loved someone of the same sex.
Ensimmäiset sanat
Tiedot englanninkielisestä Yhteisestä tiedosta. Muokkaa kotoistaaksesi se omalle kielellesi.
Acknowledgements
One man from East Africa wrote to me and asked, " Do people who condemn us for our same-sex attractions know how we feel?"
Foreward
What does it mean to come out as gay?
Introduction
I didn't intend to write a book.
Chapter 1
I know precisely the moment I became gay.
Sitaatit
Tiedot englanninkielisestä Yhteisestä tiedosta. Muokkaa kotoistaaksesi se omalle kielellesi.
Those who believe that there are absolutes of right and wrong and good and evil have had their thinking done for them.
We have the capacity to deconstruct our inherited value system, analyze it, and reconstruct a value system of our own making; in fact, it is essential that we do so.
Viimeiset sanat
Tiedot englanninkielisestä Yhteisestä tiedosta. Muokkaa kotoistaaksesi se omalle kielellesi.
Erotteluhuomautus
Julkaisutoimittajat
Kirjan kehujat
Tiedot englanninkielisestä Yhteisestä tiedosta. Muokkaa kotoistaaksesi se omalle kielellesi.
Alkuteoksen kieli
Kanoninen DDC/MDS
Kanoninen LCC

Viittaukset tähän teokseen muissa lähteissä.

Englanninkielinen Wikipedia

-

Biography & Autobiography. LGBTQIA+ (Nonfiction.) Sociology. Nonfiction. HTML:Dr. Loren A. Olson has frequently been asked two questions: How could you not know that you were gay until the age of forty? Wasn't your marriage just a sham to protect yourself at your wife's expense? In Finally Out, Dr. Olson answers these questions by telling the inspiring story of his evolving sexuality, into which he intelligently weaves psychological concepts and gay history. This book is a powerful exploration of human sexuality, particularly the sexuality of mature men who, like Dr. Olson, lived a large part of their lives as straight menâ??sometimes long after becoming aware of their same-sex attractions.
Readers will come to understand:
- That there is no universal model for coming out
- Why many older LGBTQ men came out late, do not come out at all, or come out to varying degrees in different environments
- How stigma has created mental health problems for isolated and closeted men who have sex with men, particularly in geographical areas and cultures where there is little or no acceptance of homosexuality
- How sexual function changes but perhaps even improves for older men
- That aging creates opportunities that one has never had and may never have again, e.g., freedom from the tyranny of ambition
- That some people consistently prefer an older sexual partner and this can lead to stable, intergenerational relationships
- How same-sex sexual activity was considered prior to the Stonewall uprising in 1969 contrasted with the way it is perceived after Stonewall
- How age, culture, geographical location, heterosexual marriage, and children impact a person's decision to come out
- Why "conversion therapy" does not work and may be harmful
- The difference between homophobia and homonaïveté
- The archetypes of self-identified straight men who seek occasional or regular sex with other men
- How to overcome the shame and guilt experienced by men who are sexually attracted to other m

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