David A. Treleaven

Når en med traumehistorikk, en overlever, fokuserer på traumerelaterte sansinger er faren for re-traumatisering stor. Treleaven viser hvorfor, og hvordan det kan avhjelpes. Helt kort handler det om å forstå hva som skjer, i kropp og sinn, og å gi overelveren trygghet, verktøy og valg. Han viser også grundig og effektivt hvordan kulturelle og strukturelle maktubalanser påvirker melomenneskelig interaksjon og hvor viktig det er å være sensitiv på disse. Forfatteren er psykolog, forsker og praktiserende Buddhist.

Det er vanskelig å overvurdere betydningen av denne boka, les den! [Kai]… (lisätietoja)

Når en med traumehistorikk, en overlever, fokuserer på traumerelaterte sansinger er faren for re-traumatisering stor. Treleaven viser hvorfor, og hvordan det kan avhjelpes. Helt kort handler det om å forstå hva som skjer, i kropp og sinn, og å gi overelveren trygghet, verktøy og valg. Han viser også grundig og effektivt hvordan kulturelle og strukturelle maktubalanser påvirker melomenneskelig interaksjon og hvor viktig det er å være sensitiv på disse. Forfatteren er psykolog, forsker og praktiserende Buddhist.

Det er vanskelig å overvurdere betydningen av denne boka, les den! [Kai]… (lisätietoja)

In my mid-thirties, shortly after my divorce, I became an avid reader of pop psychology and neuroscience books; I was just beginning to grapple with a childhood I'd been taught to think of as "normal" and the effects it had had, and just beginning to talk about them in therapy.

(I'd had one session with a child psychologist in my teens after a suicide attempt. He asked how I was and I told him I was "fine," because I knew from a lifetime of coaching that "fine" was always the right answer, because feelings were wrong and if I had them I was wrong and a bad person. Unsurprisingly, this single sessions did not help.)

I learned a lot of helpful things from that reading, both trivial and not:

1. A person who has a lot of photographs of themselves is a narcissist
2. A person who never looks at the camera is an introvert
3. A person who dresses a lot in black or dark colours is neurotic, in the sense of having a lot of negative feelings
4. If you grow up in a traumatic situation, you will either under-react or over-react to almost all situations, frequently both in sequence to one event
5. Not having experienced love or support as a child is "real" abuse, with lifelong consequences

That kind of thing. There's one thing I learned, though, that has been extremely unhelpful, over and over again:

1. No matter what the problem is, meditation will make it better!

Meditation is free, portable, and can be done from home, which is good for the single mother caring for a child with chronic pain and disabilities; accordingly, I have tried meditation--over and over. Audiobooks. Regular books. Headspace. Calm. Podcasts.

I can focus on my breath for ten minutes or so, though it's not always restful.

But I kept fucking up the guided meditations.

Not all of them! Some were great. But I could never predict in advance which ones I could do well at, and which ones would have me dissociating later on the drive to work. Frantically hitting pause before I ran from the room, spending the rest of the day in a rage or a funk.

Obviously, since the science was so conclusive, I must be the problem (exactly what I had been conditioned to believe about all of my problems).

Oh hey, did you know that the science is not conclusive?

Years back, after my failed Headspace experience, I googled "meditation negative effects," both the regular google and the scholar one. I found studies that discussed mild to moderate positive impacts from meditation for a variety of issues, but none of them even investigated negative impacts.

None.

In any study I could find.

The entire field of meditation studies seemed to have decided in advance that meditation could only have positive impacts, so it wasn't worth even looking for harms.

Now, I don't have access to full text or complete databases; I may have missed some things. But it still struck me. That's like missing alcoholism because all of your studies on drinking include only positives like being tipsy and liquid courage.

But recently I had another set of fun experiences with guided meditations in Calm. Three guided meditations in a week that sent me in a flashback-fueled tailspin, and once again googling for "meditation trauma flashbacks." Only this time, lo and behold, I found something.

Entire websites discussing the harms and pitfalls of practicing mindfulness with a history of trauma, serious scientific studies, forums, and ... this book.

It is not meant for trauma sufferers or meditators themselves, but for therapists, counselors and mindfulness teachers. Still, I found it enormously validating and helpful. I do not need to just keep pushing through, trusting that the benefits will come after weeks or months of debilitating side effects. I can and should prioritize safety, and stop anything that triggers or exacerbates symptoms.

It was a challenging read; it did itself bring up a lot of dark stuff. But it was dark stuff for a purpose, and I'm glad I read it. I recommend it highly.… (lisätietoja)