Kathleen Smith (2)

This book was put in my cubby by one of my coworkers when it was still just an ARC a few months ago, prior to its publication. I’m not sure if they were trying to send me a message, or if it was intended for me to pass along to my fangirl YA book club members, but either way, I’m glad I read it.
Before I picked up The Fangirl Life, I would have considered myself a mild fangirl - I have my fandoms, I’m a book hoarder, I make everyone I know read Throne of Glass, I love Downton Abbey and the Jazz Age, I adore Hermione Granger, I can quote Gilmore Girls like there’s no tomorrow, I have an extensive collection of Eeyore mugs, and I buy everything I can get my hands on that has to do with Peter Pan. But my fandoms have never gotten in the way of my personal relationships. If anything, they’ve allowed me to bond faster with people when I feel socially awkward or anxious or when trying to make a new friend. I created a book club for the sake of meeting new friends and shamelessly used my obsession with bound tomes to do so.
But as I was reading The Fangirl Life, I began to hate myself and went through a bit of a self-doubting crisis - what if everything I thought was normal and healthy was actually really bad for myself and my fandoms? Was I using them to escape from my friends and family when I just needed some alone time? Was I using my love of Downton Abbey to corral my fiance into having a ‘20s themed wedding against his will? Did collecting Eeyore mugs mean deep down I was gloomy and depressed? Was my love of Peter Pan indicative of my inability to mature and act like a responsible adult? Was the article I wrote about how I’m like Paris Geller more accurate than I let myself believe?
Thankfully, I realized that Kathleen Smith was not judging me. She was not telling me I had a problem, or problems, as I had myself convinced, but that I should be mindful of when I am using them to escape from reality in an unhealthy way. I also realized, I’d never read a self-help book before and that if I really am tearing myself apart over one that doesn’t necessarily apply to me, I could probably do with reading a few to help bolster my self-esteem a little bit.… (lisätietoja)

The Fangirl Life was not written with my age group in mind. It's targeted for a considerably younger audience. However, that doesn't mean I didn't get anything out of it. In fact, it was one of the best books for me as I transitioned from college to working full-time and handling it more like the younger me who flailed through everything than the BAMF I had learned how to be as I settled into my 30's.

Looking back to what happened when I transitioned from the Army to college life, I wish I had had The Fangirl Life then, too, because somehow, I forgot everything I learned when I was going to therapy. Smith reminded me of all those techniques I had learned to handle life as an adult, but she also taught me that my fangirling didn't have to be separate from the rest of me or from those techniques. Being a fangirl is who I am, and my life works best when I accept it, own it, and apply it to the areas of my life that I want to improve.

The best thing that The Fangirl Life gave me? In an office full of people I didn't think I had anything in common with, I found out that one of my coworkers has a major crush on Captain America. While Bruce Banner is more my type, we've had several fun conversations about all things Avengers; something that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't let my fangirl flag flutter in the breeze.… (lisätietoja)

I am a big fan of self-help books in general but I am especially drawn to the idea of confronting our own anxieties. In Everything Isn't Terrible, author Kathleen Smith presents an approachable explanation of the Bowen theory of therapy which involves not only looking at ourselves as individuals but also at our relationship systems...

"Because when we feel anxious, we often try to make other people change. We try to calm everyone else down so we can finally relax. But if you can work on managing yourself in these relationships, it’s likely that your family, your workplace, and even the greater world will calm down a little too."

Smith uses this approach in the work she does with her therapy clients and shares valuable examples in her writing regarding this methodology then gives us questions and ways to put these ideas into practice.

I really enjoyed this hands-on approach and how interactive this book felt while reading it. The writing is accessible and also shares things we can implement into our lives in a large variety of relationships and circumstances.

I love the idea that while we cannot always change the circumstances we are in, we can change how we react to them. "By changing yourself, you change the equation."

Thank you to NetGalley and Hachette Books for an advanced copy. All opinions are my own.… (lisätietoja)

I received a free copy of this book in exchange for a review. This does not change my rating or the content of the review.

The Fangirl Life is a self-help book, but it's not your usual self-help book. (I have enough of those – thank you, A&D.) No, The Fangirl Life is super sparkly special. It's written for fangirls (and fanboys) by a fangirl. (She's also a licensed therapist, so she knows what she's talking about.)

I'll admit, I went into the book thinking it would be more lighthearted, but Smith took the subject of dealing with "ALL THE FEELS" seriously, and it was sobering but also very...nice. People on the outside don't realise how passionate fangirls and fanboys are about their fandoms. Books, movies, TV shows –whatever it is you care about– have the power to make us soar and break our hearts. We suffer real hangovers when things end, and I know that I've fallen into deep depressions when characters I loved died. It's because of the power fictional stories have over my moods that I need this book. If you're the same, then you do as well.

That being said, while the book does genuinely take the approach of helping you work through the stresses and emotions of being a fan, it balances the serious with the playful. There are cute illustrations, cartoons and real-life quotes from other fangirls all over the place, as well as references to numerous TV shows and movies.

The book also aims to help you transition from Fangirl to BAMF (that's BadAss Muffin Fudger). There are so many great examples of how Smith took common advice that I've seen before in strictly professional arenas and transformed them into fangirl-relevant strategies. One such example is that of the Power Poses. Amy Cuddy of Harvard Business School said, in a TED Talk, that certain poses could make you feel more confident and powerful; Smith took that idea and made it more relatable, naming poses that you can immediately associate with scenes in TV shows and movies, such as "The Commander" (standing at the head of the table and leaning forward with both hands on the surface).



Honestly, as someone who is about to start an MBA to become a future leader, this book is just what I needed. It combines my desire to become a stronger, better, more confident version of myself –AKA a BAMF– with my love for fangirling. (Yes, I love the things I fangirl over, but the act of sharing and squealing over those things also gives me life.)

The book does seem to focus more on TV and movie fandoms, but if you fangirl over anything, you need this book.

Taken from the back of the ARC copy:

- Do you survive boring classes or meetings by imagining your favorite TV couple making out?
- Have you posted a lengthy diatribe on the Internet defending a fictional character?
- Have you gotten carsick from reading fan fiction on your smartphone?
- Has Netflix presented you with the "Are you still watching?" button at least once?

I can answer yes to all of those, and if you can as well...

BUY THIS BOOK!See this review in its natural environment, Dani Reviews Things.
You can find me on Twitter and Instagram.… (lisätietoja)