Brigid Schulte

This book pairs nicely with Jennifer Senior's All Joy and No Fun. While that book really examines the parenting angle exclusively, this one focuses more on inner-life and work-life. When I first began reading it I didn't find Brigid Schulte very likeable but she grew on me as the book progressed (like the Senior book this one is extremely well researched and has plenty of depth but unlike the Senior book this one has more of a Memoir feel woven through, with a hint of self-help). I certainly concur with her conclusion that much of the stress and pain experienced by parents in the US at this moment in time is systemic and I agree that we could all use a bit more self-compassion and a bit less one-ups-man-ship in navigating these waters.

(That said, this book and others of it's ilk (along with my entire life experience) are very much the purview of the worried well; it's not that I think our worries lack legitimacy--her point about the anxiety felt by middle class parents about the opportunities that will be available to their kids is spot on--but in the scheme of human suffering we are operating from a place of vast priviledge and comparative ease that makes navel-gazing into our own "suffering" a risky endeavor.)

This isn't a must-read, but it's worth reading.… (lisätietoja)

I've read or have seen several books in the same vein (women, work life balance, parenting), so Schulte is trodding popular territory here. They've all come out at around the same time, though, so I can't fault her for a bandwagon. (This book was chosen as part of a community reading program at my public library, which is partly why I read it.)

The diagnosis is typical, but it's well researched: the examples are good and she uses other countries as a contrast without idealizing them (the Danes wind up coming across as less perfect than they see themselves to be; I don't know if that was her intention). The framing of how this is all eating our time is well done, and she recognizes that the problem (and any solutions) are not just about women, but all of us.

THere are two flaws that got to me:

- The time problem is not just one for the middle classes. It's okay to write a book about middle class concerted cultivation parenting, as long as you've defined your topic clearly. However, the time crunch applies to a broad swath of the American population (those, who Schulte herself . If you're only interested in the time crunch of middle class families with children, define that. With a few exceptions, her targets fit a similar demographic.

- Her proposed solutions are weak, largely because there is no easy answer to broad social change. The people setting the policies are those who have managed to rise to the top in the current system. They're largely the ones who benefit. Further, we have firmly internalized Margaret Thatcher's famous remark that "There is no such thing as society." People (usually women) choose to have children and therefore to bear the consequences of that "choice." Schulte acknowledges American individualism, but facing up to its extent--that we begrudge people even the basics of sick time or recovery from childbirth--would make for a depressing conclusion.… (lisätietoja)

It took me a bit to get through this, but I found it helpful. It was nice to know that I'm definitely not the only one that feels overwhelmed with everything I have to do and it helps me to understand what factors into it. Also, I loved that there were suggestions on what to try to fix it or at least make it better.

Tip: check out the Do One Thing appendix if you don't want to read the whole thing for the short version.

Warning: This book may make you pissed off at your husband for a bit, no matter how great he is.… (lisätietoja)