Rupert Murray
Teoksen The End of the Line [2009 Documentary film] tekijä
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Wild Art: Olly and Suzi 1 kappale
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Tilastot
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- 3
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- 22
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- #553,378
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- 2.5
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I received a free copy of this novel from the author in exchange or an honest review.
And in all honesty, this work is not yet ready for prime time. Everyone has to start somewhere, and I hate to be harsh, but IMO this work needed many more passes through a critique group, rather than rushed to self-pub.
It doesn't FEEL authentic or like we are inside Latesha's head (coal-black, shoulder-length hair braided in tight dreadlocks, secured with a red and yellow handkerchief resplendent with African designs), though with the muddy Point of View it is hard to tell if we are supposed to be inside her head, or if the POV is supposed to be omniscient. This story feels unintentionally racist, like something written by a white man with a fetish for women of color, about what he imagines their lives would be like, and is "resplendent" with old racial stereotypes. Her cat is named Oprah, the hallway bears framed pictures of Malcolm X, the black power salute at the 1968 Olympics, and there's a BLACKS ONLY sign on the bathroom door. Ugh.
The work itself is bogged down by flat, aimless dialogue and description that does little to nothing to move the story forward, many filler phrases like "a minute later" and worst of all, at least in the e-version, it's all clumped together without paragraph breaks, making it virtually unreadable. Here's an example (I'm starting this two-thirds of the way into a long rambling paragraph about waiting for the bus, boarding the bus, noticing all the other passengers on the bus, and choosing a seat):
I admit, at this point, I had to skim the rest. The whole societal opposition to the interracial romance felts very dated - which is fine, set it in the 1970's or 1980's (and lose the iPods), but readers need time clues to know that's when we are. The sweet (no explicit sex) romance between Latesha and Peter felt clunky and did not grab me, and the dramatic ending... I could not believe it, but there IS a Happily For Now.
I know how hard it is to write a book, and wish I could be more enthusiastic about this one. I hope the author finds a good crit group and keeps on writing, if not immediately PUBLISHING his work.
… (lisätietoja)