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60+ teosta 4,996 jäsentä 67 arvostelua 1 Favorited

Tietoja tekijästä

John M. Gottman, Ph.D., is a professor of psychology at the University of Washington

Tekijän teokset

The Relationship Cure (2001) 474 kappaletta
What Am I Feeling? (2004) 44 kappaletta
The Analysis of Change (1995) 9 kappaletta
Wiser Together 1 kappale
Når to blir tre (2019) 1 kappale

Associated Works

Merkitty avainsanalla

Yleistieto

Syntymäaika
1942
Sukupuoli
male
Kansalaisuus
USA

Jäseniä

Kirja-arvosteluja

I found this book at an AirBnB we were staying in. I didn't read every word but got the gist from skimming. There are a lot of open-ended questions to spark conversation and we did some of those as a family.

I was already pretty familiar with the Gottman Institute theory of what makes a successful marriage, so I didn't find any revelations in this book, but it's always good to be reminded.
 
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LibrarianDest | 2 muuta kirja-arvostelua | Jan 3, 2024 |
Read for work; quick read with practical tips. Not as in-depth or comprehensive re: research as I would have hoped?
 
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Nlandwehr | Nov 6, 2023 |
I thought this book's central idea was/is life-changing, but the delivery was so-so.

Basically, the idea is that we're continuously making 'bids for connection' with others. This could be questions, words, actions, literally anything where we're, in part, saying "connect with me".

When we get such a bid, we can accept it, reject it, or ignore it. Accepting makes the relationship stronger and happier. Rejecting makes the relationship worse, but still leaves it emotionally engaged. Ignoring makes the relationship worse and less emotionally engaged.

Sometimes we get a bid for connection that's attached to something irrelevant (eg "Do you like the cookies I made?" yes-> you accept me, no -> you reject me). In that scenario, we can say "I accept you but reject the thing" (eg "I don't want the cookies, but you're great")

Understanding that people are basically doing this all the time and learning how to navigate it has changed the way I interact with people... but, again, the book itself is just kinda so-so, hence the low-ish rating.

Oh, and most importantly, this isn't just some author's pet theory. Everything in here is backed by inordinate amounts of science and even math and game theory. I've gone through some more of Gottman's books and the foundations are incredibly thorough.
… (lisätietoja)
 
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nimishg | 3 muuta kirja-arvostelua | Apr 12, 2023 |
A lot of good info, though not anything new to me, a bit repetitive, and a little dated. Would be interesting to see some of the conclusions of the studies he speaks of that weren't finished at the time of writing. I found it very similar to Adele Faber's books.
 
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bangerlm | 8 muuta kirja-arvostelua | Jan 18, 2023 |

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Tilastot

Teokset
60
Also by
1
Jäseniä
4,996
Suosituimmuussija
#5,017
Arvio (tähdet)
3.9
Kirja-arvosteluja
67
ISBN:t
191
Kielet
13
Kuinka monen suosikki
1

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