Abby Ellin

Abby Ellin has been duped. The man she loved and hoped to marry has been found to be a fraud...a lying, cheating fraud. And she's about to tell you all about it and the psychology behind these career liars and what makes them do what they do. The premise of the book is fascinating. I've seen stories like hers on shows like Dr. Phil and Dateline, but never knew the victim's side of the story so in depth. We look on these cases and think they could never happen to us, but the author shows us just how wrong we really are. I'll be honest, I couldn't put this book down. Her details of her own personal duping and the additional cases she introduced to the story were fascinating. The overall tone of the book was great, too. Instead of the book being bitter from her fraud or being dry with the psychology details, she finds a way to blend it all in a slightly irreverent tongue in cheek manner that is fun to read. I rarely see a non-fiction book that keeps me as interested as this one did.

Thank you to NetGalley and Perseus Books for the advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.… (lisätietoja)

Journalist Abby Ellin recounts how she met a charming man, noticed a few red flags but chose to ignore them in her desire to love and be loved, and found out much later that the man she almost married was a white-collar criminal who lead duplicitous lives.

Ellin's story was fascinating, but that's only chapter one of this book. She also discusses just how common white-collar crimes involving deception are, and how they are often downplayed to an extent because the victims are too embarrassed to admit their "fault" in the situation.

She goes on to synthesize and explain research on why people lie, why others believe the lies, and so on. She explores social psychology, evolutionary theory, body language, and more to bring together a cohesive picture how and why people end up living double lives.

Ellin provides some real food for thought when she talks about how we as a society make a distinction between different types of lies (e.g., lies that are to soften a blow for others are considered kind, while lies that self-aggrandized are viewed far more negatively) and where we draw the line between an acceptable number of white lies and an over-the-top lifestyle of deception. You might think the distinction is clear cut, but she provides a number of examples that make you think twice.

This book was extremely interesting and thought provoking, and I would recommend it who those who like to learn more about the world around them, particularly in terms of human interactions. However, I will admit that the book is a little scattered at times; it sometimes felt like a specific study/example was discussed in a chapter than made a little less sense than another or that she was being a tad redundant in spots. Overall though, this was a quick and engaging read.… (lisätietoja)