Tehmina Durrani

De mooie Hier is nauwelijks vijftien als ze wordt uitgehuwelijkt aan Pir Saien, een religieus leider die door zijn aanhangers wordt beschouwd als de tussenpersoon tussen Allah en diens gelovigen. Ze komt te wonen in een haweli; een groot ruim huis met een centrale binnenplaats. Het wordt haar gevangenis; ze mag nooit naar buiten. De haweli wordt gezien als een bedevaartsplaats. Van haar man ontvangt Hier geen enkele liefde; ze wordt verkracht vanaf nacht één. De wreedheden van haar man worden steeds erger.
Het boek begint met de ochtend dat Pir Saien overleden is; het hele boek kijk je uit naar het moment dat dat gebeurt en dat Hier haar vrijheid terug zal krijgen. Maar dat laatste blijft uit.
Het verhaal - gebaseerd op het leven van de schrijfster - is er een van grote treurigheid; uitzichtloosheid en wekte in mij een grote woede op om de hypocrisie van de daden die zogenaamd uit Allah's naam worden gedaan.… (lisätietoja)

I gave it 3 stars just for the effort of the author to come out and tell her story. Otherwise it is an ordinary story of a failed marriage (that should have ended years ago than it did), made extraordinary by the presence of big names.

The obvious fault lay with her husband's psychology but she had several chances to get out of that life. Still she kept herself entangled in that miserable relationship.
Before marriage she was warned at several occasions by his wife (at that time), still she wouldn't listen. Her sister did to her marriage what she did to her husband's previous.

Still at some level her ambivalence is understandable regarding divorce. One has to keep in mind that ours is a conservative society that rarely accepts a divorced woman. And keep in mind that this is that 70s and 80s she is talking about, social norms were ultra conservative then. But at the same time, she had a chance in London to walk out of that marriage - she missed.

After reading the book I don't know if I feel sorry for her, or pity for fer fallibility or gullible nature, fear of society, contempt for her ego which forced her to live with such a sadistic person (than going to her parents) or I laud her for telling this story.

Today, there are a lot of women in Pakistan that are suffering quitely in failed marriages. Most of them did not have the chance to walk out (like the author had quite a few) or cannot do so in fear of the future (theirs and childrens') and for the most part because the society won't support them. I hope books like these bring some respite to those poor souls.… (lisätietoja)

The author was "born into one of Pakistan's most influential families". Tehmina Durrani was raised among the privileged of Lahore high society. She eventually became the sixth wife of Mustafa Khar, "the lion of the Punjab". He cut her off from the outside world, violently possessive and fiendishly jealous of others. Tehmina filed for divorce, and was forced to sign away all support, custody of her four children, disowned by pious parents, and abandoned by friends loyal to the male. She documents not only her life, but the bent virulence of the wealthy "feudal lords" against vulnerable women and the poor.… (lisätietoja)

I read this book after reading Owen Bennett Jones' excellent book, Pakistan, as I felt it would be interesting to read a personal, inside-out version of many of the historical events recounted by Jones in his work, and he included a brief but interesting reference to this book. It was a good choice; Tehmina was one of the many wives of the politician known as the "Lion of the Punjab", Mustafa Khar, and therefore was witness to one of Pakistan's most colourful decades. Her "tell all" autobiography of these years reveals as much about the decadent lifestyles and behaviour of the Pakistani elite during this period as it does about Pakistani politics. Betrayals, lies and constant power scrambles seem to have been the order of the day whether by disobedient children, pummeled or pampered wives or the provinces' feudal lords.… (lisätietoja)