Joy Ross Davis

In Mother, Can You Hear Me? Joy Ross Davis writes with humor and pathos about her experiences living with and caring for her elderly mother, who is dealing with hearing loss and dementia, as well as physical infirmity. Davis does not sugar coat the difficulties and frustrations of acting as a full time caregiver, but she also never fails to see the humorous side of things and does not overlook the miraculous which can be found in the everyday. The vignette style of the book makes it easy to pick up and put down as needed, a huge plus for anyone who struggles to find uninterrupted chunks of reading time. As someone whose parents are approaching the age at which they will begin to need more help and care, I can only imagine that Mother, Can You Hear Me will serve me well as a companion in the future.… (lisätietoja)

A moving, yet funny account of the author’s time as a caregiver for her mother who is dealing with hearing loss and dementia. I have not personally been in a situation like this, but the frustrations and heartache that come along with being a full time caregiver must be hard and unbearable at times. Joy Ross Davis decided in order for her to survive this task she needed to write and deal with it with humor. I am sure that this book will bring a needed relief to those who are dealing with this now and to those who may be dealing with this in the future, it will bring encouragement and learning how to deal with being a caregiver with grace and laughter.
This was a first reads give away in exchange for my honest opinion.… (lisätietoja)

I received an epub version of this book from the LibraryThing Early Reviewers programme - thank you to the author and publisher for making it available.

The book has two subtitles, "A Caregiver's Story" and "A Memoir of Hope". It is a short (68 page) memoir of the author's time as full-time carer for her elderly mother, who had dementia. She outlines some of the challenges she faced with her mother's confusion (and her mother sounded like quite a character, it has to be said!), but also the "moments of grace" she finds in the everyday, whether this is an unexpected moment of connection with her mother, or the kindness of friends and care staff. She clearly has a Christian faith which also helps her through. She also looks back to events and people in her mother's past, to try to show the woman behind the dementia.

Initially I wasn't sure if I would like this, as it seemed to be so focused on trying to see the best in the situation and it felt a bit, not exactly sugar-coated, but trying hard to not be warts-and-all, but as I read on I warmed more to it. She mentions the tiredness and monotony of being a full-time carer, but doesn't dwell much on this, preferring to try and find the humour in the everyday. Although I don't have personal experience of being a carer in this situation, my cousin did care for my aunt with dementia in the final years of her life a few years ago, so I did recognise aspects of what she was writing about. I can imagine that this book could resonate with people in a similar situation, and in a sense I wish it had been longer. Although I could see that she was trying hard to maintain her mother's dignity and sense of personality, and the focus on those little moments of grace was a lovely way to look at things, I think I would have appreciated a little bit more about the down days to give a more overall view of what life day in day out as a carer of someone with dementia can be like.

I struggled to know how to rate this book - it's always hard when you are in effect judging somebody's personal experience. Eventually I've come down around 3.5/5 stars - I think it could have been strengthened as I say by more of a sense of the drudgery and difficulties as well as the humour and good times, but that said, this was well-written and never twee or cliched.… (lisätietoja)